How to Stop Being a Narcissist: A Guide

Introduction

Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration and attention, and a lack of empathy for others. While it is normal to have some narcissistic traits, those with extreme narcissistic tendencies may struggle to form meaningful relationships and may experience feelings of emptiness and insecurity. In this article, we will explore how to stop being a narcissist.

Acknowledge Your Narcissistic Tendencies

The first step in overcoming narcissism is to acknowledge your own narcissistic traits. This can be difficult because it requires you to take an honest look at yourself and your behavior. However, doing so is essential if you want to make lasting changes.

Understand What Narcissism Is

In order to understand your own narcissistic traits, it is important to understand what narcissism is. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), people with narcissistic personality disorder typically exhibit five or more of the following characteristics:

• An exaggerated sense of self-importance
• A need for excessive admiration and attention from others
• A lack of empathy towards others
• A belief that they are superior to others
• A tendency to take advantage of others
• A sense of entitlement
• A preoccupation with power, success, and beauty
• Arrogant behavior and an unwillingness to accept criticism

Identify Your Own Characteristics

Once you understand the definition of narcissism, you can begin to identify your own narcissistic traits. This can be done by reflecting on your past behaviors and looking for patterns. If you find that you exhibit many of the above characteristics, it is likely that you have narcissistic tendencies.

Practice Self-Awareness and Reflection

Once you have identified your own narcissistic tendencies, the next step is to practice self-awareness and reflection. This involves monitoring your own behavior and considering how your actions might affect others.

Monitor Your Own Behavior

It is important to be mindful of your own behavior and to pay attention to how it might be perceived by others. Ask yourself questions such as: “Am I being selfish?” or “Am I behaving arrogantly?” This can help you to recognize when you are exhibiting narcissistic traits.

Reflect on Your Actions

Once you have identified narcissistic behavior, it is important to reflect on your actions. Ask yourself why you acted in a certain way and consider how your behavior might have impacted the other person. This can help you to gain insight into your own behavior and to develop healthier ways of interacting with others.

Avoid Comparisons

One of the most common traits of narcissism is a preoccupation with comparing oneself to others. People with narcissistic tendencies often focus on their own achievements and compare themselves to those around them. It is important to try to break this habit in order to overcome narcissism.

Refrain from Comparing Yourself to Others

When you find yourself comparing yourself to others, it is important to remind yourself that everyone has their own unique strengths and weaknesses. As psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff explains, “Comparison is the thief of joy. Rather than comparing yourself to others, focus on accepting and celebrating your own unique qualities.”

Focus on Your Own Achievements

Rather than constantly comparing yourself to others, it can be helpful to focus on your own achievements. Take time to celebrate your successes and accomplishments, no matter how small. This can help to boost your self-esteem and reduce feelings of envy and resentment.

Challenge Unhelpful Thoughts

People with narcissistic tendencies often have negative and unhelpful thoughts about themselves. It is important to challenge these thoughts in order to overcome narcissism.

Recognize Negative Thinking Patterns

The first step is to recognize when you are having unhelpful thoughts. Pay attention to patterns in your thinking and be aware of any negative beliefs that you may have about yourself. For example, do you often think that you are not good enough or that you are not worthy of love?

Replace Unhelpful Thoughts with Positive Ones

Once you have identified your negative thought patterns, it is important to replace them with positive ones. Remind yourself of your successes and achievements, and focus on the things that you like about yourself. Psychologist Dr. Guy Winch suggests, “Rather than allowing yourself to be overwhelmed by negative thoughts, try to focus on the positive aspects of yourself.”

Develop Empathy for Others

Another key step in overcoming narcissism is to develop empathy for others. People with narcissistic tendencies often struggle to put themselves in other people’s shoes and to understand their perspectives. Developing empathy can help you to build stronger relationships and to become more compassionate.

Listen and Understand Other People’s Points of View

The first step is to actively listen to other people and to try to understand their points of view. Put yourself in their shoes and try to see things from their perspective. This can help you to develop empathy and to relate to others in a more meaningful way.

Practice Compassion and Kindness

It is also important to practice compassion and kindness towards others. Make an effort to be kind to those around you and show genuine interest in their lives. Research has shown that practicing kindness and compassion can help to reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Learn to Take Criticism

People with narcissistic tendencies often struggle to accept criticism. Learning to take criticism constructively can help you to overcome narcissism and to improve your relationships with others.

Don’t Take it Personally

The first step is to try not to take criticism personally. When someone gives you feedback, try to separate the criticism from your identity. Remind yourself that this is not a reflection of who you are, but rather a comment on your behavior.

Consider Constructive Feedback

It is also important to consider constructive criticism as an opportunity for growth. Think about how you can use the feedback to improve your behavior and to become a better version of yourself. As author and entrepreneur Tim Ferriss suggests, “If you are secure in your beliefs, you don’t need to defend them to anyone. You can learn from criticism without letting it define you.”

Seek Professional Help

In some cases, it may be beneficial to seek professional help in overcoming narcissism. There are several types of treatment options available, including psychotherapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).

Types of Treatment Options

Psychotherapy is a type of counseling that helps individuals to explore their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. CBT focuses on identifying and changing unhelpful thoughts and behaviors, while DBT focuses on regulating emotions and teaching skills to manage distress. These treatments can help individuals to recognize and change their narcissistic behavior.

Benefits of Seeking Professional Help

Seeking professional help can provide numerous benefits, including improved self-awareness, increased empathy for others, and greater insight into your own behavior. It can also help to reduce feelings of insecurity and emptiness, and can help you to develop healthier relationships with others.

Conclusion

Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration and attention, and a lack of empathy for others. Overcoming narcissism requires acknowledging your own narcissistic tendencies, practicing self-awareness and reflection, avoiding comparisons, challenging unhelpful thoughts, developing empathy for others, and learning to take criticism. In some cases, it may also be beneficial to seek professional help. With dedication and hard work, it is possible to overcome narcissism and to develop healthier relationships with yourself and others.