Introduction
When you hear the term “softie”, what comes to mind? Do you think of someone who is too sensitive or overly emotional? Or do you think of someone who is kind and has a strong emotional intelligence? The truth is that being a softie isn’t about being weak—it’s about having the courage to show your vulnerable side. This article will explore eight ways to develop your emotional intelligence and be a better softie.
Practice Mindful Listening
Mindful listening is an essential part of being a softie. According to psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff, mindful listening involves “listening with an open mind and heart and without judgment.” It also involves being fully present in the moment, focusing on the speaker and their words, and being aware of your own thoughts and feelings. To practice mindful listening, try to focus on the speaker and really listen to what they have to say without trying to formulate a response. If your mind starts to wander, take a few deep breaths and refocus on the conversation.
Use Empathy and Compassion
Empathy and compassion are important qualities for a softie. Empathy is the ability to understand and share another person’s feelings, while compassion is the desire to alleviate another person’s suffering. To use empathy and compassion, try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and imagine how they must be feeling. Ask questions to learn more about their situation, and be sure to express your understanding of their feelings.
Show Your Vulnerability
Vulnerability is another key component of being a softie. According to Brene Brown, author of Daring Greatly, “vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage.” Showing your vulnerability can be intimidating, but it can also be incredibly freeing. Try to open up about your feelings and be honest about your struggles. This will help to build trust and connection with others.
Learn to Accept Criticism
Criticism can be hard to accept, but learning to do so is an important part of being a softie. According to a study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, “people who were more open to constructive criticism were likely to experience higher levels of self-esteem, social acceptance, and job satisfaction.” To learn to accept criticism, try to remain open-minded and recognize that the feedback may be beneficial. Ask clarifying questions to ensure you understand the criticism, and thank the other person for taking the time to give you feedback.
Don’t Overreact
It’s easy to overreact when we feel overwhelmed or stressed out, but it’s important not to do so if you want to be a softie. According to psychotherapist Alice Boyes, PhD, “overreacting leads to situations escalating and makes communication harder. It can also lead to people feeling ashamed and embarrassed afterwards.” To avoid overreacting, take a step back and take a few deep breaths before responding. This will give you time to collect your thoughts and respond in a calm and collected manner.
Respect Other People’s Boundaries
Respecting other people’s boundaries is a crucial part of being a softie. According to psychologist Guy Winch, PhD, “when we violate someone’s boundaries, we make them feel uncomfortable, disrespected and unsafe.” To respect other people’s boundaries, try to be aware of their limits and ask permission before doing something that could potentially be intrusive. Also, be sure to apologize if you accidentally cross a boundary.
Conclusion
Being a softie isn’t about being weak—it’s about having the courage to show your vulnerable side. To become a better softie, practice mindful listening, use empathy and compassion, show your vulnerability, learn to accept criticism, don’t overreact, and respect other people’s boundaries. With these tips, you can develop your emotional intelligence and become a better softie.
For further reading, check out Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly and Guy Winch’s book The Squeaky Wheel. Both books provide valuable insight into the importance of emotional intelligence, vulnerability, and boundary setting.
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